


Somebody Misses You When You’re Away

by howtosingit



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Boys In Love, Established Relationship, Fluff, Idiots in Love, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Romance, Tarlos Week 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:00:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26698660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/howtosingit/pseuds/howtosingit
Summary: TK returns to New York City for the first time since moving to Texas, and Carlos faces his own insecurities back in Austin.*Written for Tarlos Week 2020 - Day 1: “Are you wearing my hoodie?” + Fluff
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand
Comments: 20
Kudos: 250





	Somebody Misses You When You’re Away

\-----

Carlos taps his fingers against the hard, wooden tabletop, his eyes fixed on the phone in front of him. While he watches, the screen goes dark due to inactivity, and he lets out a sigh, his heart clenching in his chest.

“You look really pathetic, you know that?” Michelle says, and he glances up to find her staring at him from the other side of the picnic table, her head tilted to the side as she sucks her milkshake through her straw. Carlos can see a teasing glint in her eyes, but there’s something else there too, something like pity, and it just makes him feel even smaller.

“Yeah,” he admits, leaning forward to rest his head in his hands, “I know I do.”

From his new position, Carlos can’t see Michelle’s face, but he feels her hand on his wrist where she reaches out to touch him, rubbing her thumb soothingly along his pulse point. “Do you want to talk about it?” she asks gently.

This time, Carlos lets out a small groan, hoping to convey exactly how dramatic he knows he’s being. “It’s completely ridiculous, I know, but I miss him.”

When he gets no response, Carlos looks up again, catching the half-smile and gentle gaze of his best friend. “What?” he asks, raising his eyebrow in confusion. He definitely thought she’d laugh at him.

“You are just the softest soul, Carlos Reyes,” she responds, shaking her head slightly. “It’s hard to believe that you exist sometimes.”

Carlos feels a blush rise on the back of his neck and to the tips of his ears, rolling his eyes as he looks away in embarrassment. “You sound like TK.”

“That’s because he knows how good he’s got it,” Michelle fires back, no heat in her claim as she ducks to catch his eye. The statement sticks to Carlos, hitting at his current train of thoughts. The fear that maybe Michelle has finally learned to read his mind causes a grimace to take over his face. “Ah, looks like I poked something there,” she says in response to his reaction.

“I feel like I’m going crazy here, chica,” he grits through his teeth, the unsettling thoughts that have kept him up for the past few nights flying to the forefront of his mind.

“It’s okay to miss your boyfriend when he’s out of town, Carlos.”

“Is it?” he asks, his voice cracking slightly as his fears threaten to take over. “Because it’s only been four days, and it’s not like I don’t hear from him. We text or talk every night before bed.”

“Well, that’s a good thing!” Michelle practically yells, her eyebrows furrowing as she gestures widely as if all of his problems are solved by that one admission.

“Then why do I feel like I’m going to lose him?” Carlos whispers, biting down hard on his bottom lip to contain every other dark thought that’s been swirling around in his head. 

Michelle’s arms drop back down to the table, her hands moving to cover his own on top of the table. She gives him a penetrating look, and after years of friendship, Carlos knows that she’s trying to pick up on everything that he’s not saying out loud. 

“Why would you be thinking that?” Michelle hedges, tightening her grip on him. 

“He didn’t choose Texas,” Carlos starts, looking down to avoid any judgmental looks that she might give him, “and he loves New York. He’s sending me all of these pictures of his favorite places, and when we get to talk, he seems so happy and excited to be back there.”

“Carlos-”

“What if he decides that’s where he wants to be?” he pushes forward, his voice breaking again. The thought makes his heart beat rapidly, the fear of TK leaving him coursing through him like an untamable fire. 

“Didn’t he already consider moving back to New York, when he got shot?” Michelle reminds him, leaning closer. “He stayed, Carlos. He picked the 126, he picked you!”

“Yeah, but now he’s back there and it feels different. He’s remembering his entire life there, and it wasn’t all bad, ‘Chelle! What if he comes back and no longer feels like this is where he belongs?”

“Then he’ll talk to you about it!” Michelle exclaims, jumping up from the table to move to Carlos’s side. She wraps her arms around him, pressing her chin into his shoulder. “Carlos, you guys have been together for almost three months, and I know it started off a little crazy, but you two have built something solid. You love him, I know you do.”

Carlos takes a deep breath, the words cutting through him. “I do,” he agrees. “I love him so much, Michelle.”

“Have you told him that?” 

“We’re not there yet,” Carlos says. “It’s only been a couple of months, I don’t want to scare him by moving too fast.”

Michelle huffs out a breath, dropping her forehead against his shoulder as she lets out a groan. 

“Carlos, how many times do we have to have this conversation?” she starts, her voice serious, like she means business. “You can’t hold yourself back to make other people comfortable. It’s not fair to yourself. If you’re worried he’ll leave, you have to tell him the truth.”

“Michelle, you don’t get it,” Carlos says, turning to face her. “If TK decides that he wants to move back to New York, I’m not going to try to stop him.”

“What do you mean?” she asks, pulling back to look at him, the shock clear on her face. “Why wouldn’t you?”

“I just want him to be happy, Michelle,” he tells her, tracing the lines on his left palm thoughtfully. “I love him, I do, so much, but if New York is what makes him happy, if it’s what he wants, I’m not going to stand in the way of that. I don’t want to be that kind of person.”

“Oh, honey,” Michelle sighs, leaning her head against him again. “They really don’t make many men like you, Carlos Reyes.”

He wishes that made him feel better.

\-----

When TK first told him that he was going to New York for a week to see his mother for her birthday, Carlos was really excited for him. They had talked a lot about his mom before, and Carlos knew that his boyfriend missed her a lot. He was truly happy that TK would get to spend some quality time with his mom, just the two of them in the city. 

Except, there’s also the fact that it means they’ll have to spend an entire week apart.

In the two and a half months that they’ve been dating, he and TK have spent as much time as possible together. They both have insane work schedules that don’t always line up, but they make up for it where they can. When he’s working a late shift, TK will bring him takeout if he’s off, and they’ll eat together in the park next to his station. When TK is on a long shift, Carlos will sometimes stop by the 126 and hang out with the crew. He and Paul have become really good friends, and he enjoys the camaraderie that he finds with the team. 

When their schedules do line up, TK usually stays the night at his place, and they like to wake up early and go for runs together before making breakfast - TK handles the fruit and toast, Carlos does the eggs and turkey sausage. It’s become a part of their routine, along with spur-of-the-moment nights out, exploring Austin. 

The point is, they try to spend a good amount of time together, something that they both enjoy. Judd likes to joke that they’re still in the honeymoon stage of their relationship, and one day they’ll get sick of each other. (TK calls him a liar, knowing only too well how much Judd loves to spend time with Grace, even after years of marriage.) They haven’t really had the opportunity to miss one another yet, keeping each other in the loop about what’s going on in their lives regularly. It’s not that they’re dependent on one another to have a good time, but they’ve both been pretty clear about how committed they are to each other, and to building a strong, healthy relationship together.

So, when TK goes to New York for seven days, Carlos freaks out a little bit.

He doesn’t mean to, he actually tries really hard not to, but his insecurities are a little too strong for him to overcome them completely.

It starts with just missing his boyfriend. The sight of his smile, the twinkle of his green eyes, the way that his uniform clings to him when they see each other on a call. TK still texts him pictures, and they talk on the phone a couple of times, when they can find a moment. It’s not that his boyfriend ghosts him for a week. 

It’s just different, and he’s trying to adjust. He’s trying to be normal. He hasn’t told TK anything, he hasn’t acted weird when they’ve talked; he’s answered all of his texts because he loves texting TK. He’s so, so happy that TK is having a good week with his mother in the city that built him. He would never want to ruin that. 

It’s just that Carlos loves him, and misses him, and can’t wait to see his face again.

\-----

TK texts him the morning that he’s due back in Texas, reminding him of his arrival information, as if Carlos hasn’t gone to bed every night looking at the note on his fridge. 

He parks his Camaro in the lot closest to the terminal, willing to pay the fee if it means getting to see his boyfriend sooner, before heading inside to wait. He’s way ahead of schedule, his impatience pulling him out of his apartment and towards the airport earlier than necessary. Still, he takes a seat at the edge of the baggage claim area, pulling his phone out to make sure he hasn’t missed a text from TK.

Thirty minutes later, his phone chimes with a message from his boyfriend, letting him know that he just landed and he’ll be out to see him soon. Carlos jumps to his feet, a wide smile on his face at the thought that they’re finally in the same timezone again. He feels ridiculous and gets so distracted by trying to talk himself down to a normal level of excitement that he doesn’t spot TK until he’s less than ten feet from him.

“Hey, you!” a familiar voice calls out, and Carlos feels the way all of his anxieties and insecurities fade into nothingness when he turns and takes in the man he loves.

TK is dressed for comfort, rocking his day-off sweats and a hoodie, but Carlos swears that no one has ever looked more stunning. That, plus his unkempt hair, no doubt from sleeping on the flight, melts his heart to a liquid mess inside his chest. Before he can even consider it, he’s diving towards his boyfriend to pull him into a tight hug, burying his face in TK’s neck to press a kiss to his soft skin.

TK laughs gently at the reaction, wasting no time in wrapping his arms around Carlos’s waist. They stand there for a few moments, taking their fill, before TK moves away slightly. Carlos, thinking that his boyfriend probably wants some space, let’s him go, but before he can step back, TK is gripping his neck to pull him into a chaste kiss.

Carlos closes his eyes at the contact, fireworks exploding behind his eyelids. This week is the longest they’ve gone without kissing, and he definitely forgot how mesmerizing it is to be close to TK in this way. He may not have gone anywhere, but kissing his man always feels like coming home.

“I really missed that,” TK breathes out when they separate. Carlos huffs out a shy laugh, ducking his head to press their noses together.

“Me too,” he says.

TK gives him a smile, turning towards the baggage claim. He reaches for Carlos’s hand, interlocking their fingers as they stand side-by-side, waiting for TK’s bag to appear.

“How was your mom?” Carlos asks, his curiosity about how TK’s feeling right now getting the best of him.

“So good!” TK says, his eyes bright as he launches into the recap of his week, telling Carlos all about the surprise party they planned for his mom. He remembers TK being really excited to help with the preparations before he left.

They’re walking towards the car, hands still linked, when TK pauses mid-sentence and turns to look at Carlos. 

“Are you wearing my hoodie?”

Carlos stops in his tracks, looking down at the outfit he quickly threw on before leaving the apartment. He’s unsurprised to find TK’s yellow hoodie stretched across his chest; in his boyfriend’s absence, he’s taken to wearing it around his apartment whenever he was really missing him. Up until yesterday, it even still smelled like TK. 

“Um, possibly,” he answers, a small grin forming at the corner of his mouth as he gives TK a sheepish look. “Sorry?”

“Don’t be,” TK assures him, leaning towards him to press their lips together again. “I like seeing you in my clothes.” 

“You do?” 

“Yeah,” TK laughs, dragging Carlos across the lot towards his car. “Though I should probably start buying them a size up if you’re going to be stealing them from me.”

A strange hope fills Carlos’s chest, and he can’t help but notice how TK’s joke implies a future investment in their relationship. 

“So,” he starts, popping his trunk so that TK can throw his bag inside, “you want me to take you home?”

“Actually, if you’re okay with me using your shower, can we go back to your place?” TK asks, stepping close.

Carlos wraps his arms around him, his hands coming to rest at the base of his spine. 

“You can use my shower anytime,” he mutters, pressing their lips together again, determined to catch up on all the kisses he missed this past week.

\-----

Carlos flits around the kitchen while TK showers, throwing together a quick snack for the two of them. There’s a smile on his face the entire time, a response to hearing the running water from the bathroom down the hall. Nothing about this moment is anything to throw a party over, but after a week of thinking through worst-case scenarios, he’s going to soak up every single moment of having his boyfriend back in his apartment.

TK comes out in a different pair of sweats and a soft t-shirt, toweling his hair dry.

“I made you some lunch,” Carlos says from the couch, smiling when TK lets out a groan and dives forward to grab a chip from his plate.

“You are a literal dream, babe,” he sighs, dropping down next to Carlos and pressing a kiss to his cheek. 

Carlos flushes, turning to take a sip of water to avoid responding, but he can’t help the smile that pulls at his lips.

“And you in my clothes?” TK starts, taking a bite of his sandwich. “Also an actual dream I’ve had before.”

Carlos laughs, his heart pounding in his chest. He remembers the advice Michelle gave him a few days ago and his mind spins, wondering if this is a moment where he can be a little more honest with TK about what he’s feeling. 

“It, um,” he begins, breathing heavily through his nose as he pushes forward, “it stopped smelling like you yesterday.”

He feels TK shift next to him, pressing their knees together. Carlos glances up at him nervously, surprised to see TK giving him a strange look. Then, his boyfriend leans in, pressing his face into his shoulder and inhaling deeply.

“It smells like you now,” TK whispers, pulling back, his green eyes glinting softly. “You wore it a lot while I was gone?” 

Carlos nods, maintaining eye contact. “Whenever I missed you, which, not to sound too lame, was kind of all the time.” 

TK sucks in a sharp breath at the confession, his eyebrows furrowing slightly. Then, without warning, he gets up from the couch and moves towards the door, his sudden absence like a hot knife through Carlos’s chest. 

“This stopped smelling like you after the fourth day,” TK starts, his back to the room as he digs through his bag, “but I still wore it to bed every night.”

He turns, and Carlos realizes that he’s holding his own grey zip-up hoodie, the one that he puts on after he showers, before he has to get into uniform for work. Carlos hadn’t even realized it was missing.

The tear falls unexpectedly, as does the overwhelming feeling of relief that, just maybe, TK struggled with their distance this past week, too. Before he can duck away, or go somewhere to pull himself together, TK is crossing the room and planting himself on the floor in front of him. 

“Hey, what’s going on?” he asks, reaching forward to brush the tear from his cheek.

“It’s nothing, I’m just being ridiculous,” he assures him, avoiding eye contact.

“It’s clearly something,” TK says, rolling his eyes as he cups Carlos’s face in his hands. “Tell me.”

“I don’t want to freak you out.”

“Well, okay, but now I _am_ freaking out a bit,” TK says, giving Carlos a serious look. “Carlos, I swear, you not telling me what you’re thinking is going to stress me out way more than just telling me the truth.”

Carlos bites his lip, trying to figure out the best way to approach this. It’s not that he doesn’t want to be honest with his boyfriend, he just doesn’t want to push too far and ruin this thing that they’ve spent the past few months building. 

Except, a part of him knows that what they have is strong, and good, and that it works for them. They aren’t in the same place that they were three months ago; they have the hard conversations now, and this is technically no different. It’s just not hard in the way TK is probably expecting.

“My brain went a little nuts this week, while you were in New York,” he starts, reaching out to squeeze TK’s wrists gently when it looks like he might interrupt. 

“I saw how much fun you were having there, back in your hometown and with your mom, and I got scared.”

TK pulls back slightly, a look of confusion taking over his features. “Scared about what?”

“I know it probably sounds ridiculous, but I couldn’t stop thinking about how you might decide that Austin isn’t where you want to be right now,” Carlos admits, his voice thin as he voices his festering insecurity.

“Oh,” is all TK says in response.

There’s a heavy silence as they sit close to one another, each of them working through their own thoughts. After a moment that feels like years, TK finally speaks.

“I didn’t get to tell you,” he starts, a small smile appearing on his face as he looks at Carlos openly, “but my mom is planning to visit next month.”

“Oh,” is all Carlos can say, confused by the direction the conversation has taken.

“Yeah,” TK continues, huffing out a laugh, “after the first two days of me talking about you non-stop, she said she wants to meet the man that I’m clearly in love with.”

All at once, the air is practically sucked from the room as Carlos’s brain replays the sentence over and over and over again in his head. Each time, he decides that he must have misheard the words, but TK just keeps staring at him, his eyes shining brightly with a look that Carlos would swear could only be affection.

“Sorry I told her before you,” TK apologizes, leaning forward, “but she was relentless. You know moms.”

“That’s okay,” Carlos assures him, his eyes filling with tears as the reality of what’s happening washes over him. “I told Michelle a few days ago.”

TK’s face breaks out into a giant smile as he shakes his head, leaning forward to press their mouths together in a gentle kiss. There’s no heat behind it, just a pure want for connection.

“You know, the whole time I was there,” he says when they break apart, nudging their noses together, “I was thinking about how I want to bring you with me next time, and show you off to everyone I know. I want to walk you around my city and show you where I grew up. I want you there with me, by my side, the next time I go, and every time I go after that.”

“Really?” Carlos gasps, cupping TK’s face in his hands. 

“Really,” TK says. “New York was my home Carlos, and there’s still a lot of things that I love about it, but Austin is where I belong. I may not have had a choice in moving here and joining the 126, but I chose to stay. And even better, I got to choose you, babe. So far, it’s the best choice I’ve ever made.”

“I love you,” Carlos whispers, pulling TK into an intense kiss. He knows he’s crying again, but this time he doesn’t care. He can’t be embarrassed, not when he gets to hold and hug and kiss the love of his life, the man who loves him back. He’s waited so long for this and he can’t believe he’s finally found it.

TK pulls away with a gasp, and Carlos can’t help the pride that swells inside of him when he spots the blush on his boyfriend’s cheeks, along with his blown pupils. “I love you so much,” TK breathes out, already diving back in for another kiss. 

Later, as they reach for each other in bed, Carlos finally allows TK to remove the yellow hoodie from his body, knowing that he no longer has any need for it. 

Not when he’s holding the love of his life in his arms.

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](https://howtosingit.tumblr.com/)


End file.
